Where No Man has Wanted to Go Before
by Madtrek
Summary: <html><head></head>What happens when the entire 430-some crew members of the Enterprise get trapped in the enormous and winding network of Jefferies Tubes? Purely Humor. 8 or so chapters in future. Smidge of Spock/Uhura.</html>
1. In

**Chapter 1: In**

"Hey, Pavel, it smell funny down here to you?"

"No, vy?" the young Ensign looked at his Asiatic friend in puzzlement.

"Because _I_ smell something. Look. There. On the floor. What _is_ that? It looks like… fog."

Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, Helmsman or the flagship of the 'fleet, had to be an adventurous person. It was an unspoken job requirement. He advanced down the corridor with Chekov following warily behind.

The fog was up to their knees. It was coming from right around the corner. By the time the men rounded the corner, it was thigh deep.

All seemed well, but odd, until Chekov tripped over something lying on the floor. Whatever it was, it squished. Understandably, he squeaked.

"Pavel? Find something?"

Chekov was looking at the fog in front of his feet in something like terror. Sulu reached down and grabbed for something. He came up with what happened to be an ear. A pointy ear. Followed by a shiny black head. He dropped the ear.

"Emergency Medical Team to Auxiliary Control! Captain, some kind of fog is spewing out the door! We've got unconscious crew members!

* * *

><p>5 minutes earlier<p>

"Hey, Scotty, something's up with ventilation. It smells funny, and it's really stuffy."

"Aye, Cap'n, I know. I'm workin' on it, but I gotta keep the all the doors an' vents open for awhile. I'll put the turbolifts on auto to stop everywhere and distribute air. A week at most."

"Alright, Mr. Scott. Go ahead. I'll send out a ship wide announcement. Bridge out."

"Lieutenant, can you get me ship wide?"

"Yes, sir. You're on."

"Attention all crew members. This is your captain speaking. Mr. Scott is completing minor repairs on the ventilation system. For now, all doors and vents will be open. Do not attempt to close them. My apologies for any inconvenience. Kirk out."

Kirk yawned. He needed coffee. Yeoman Rand walked up to the comm chair with a cup of coffee, straight black, like he liked it. "Here you go, sir." He hadn't even asked for it. Thank god for yeomans.

"Captain, Science Lab 4 requires my presence immediately. Permission to leave the bridge?"

"Granted, Mr. Spock. Carry on."

Spock left the bridge, and a random blue-shirted ensign walked up and took his first officer's place at the science station.

Three minutes later, Lieutenant Sulu's voice cried from the shipwide communication system for a medical team to Auxiliary Control.

Kirk punched the chair arm. "Scotty! Close those doors! Now!"

"I canna sir, it's locked. We have ta wait 5 days."

"Well, something leaking out of Auxiliary Control, and it already got someone! And it's gonna get more people too if we don't stop it!" Kirk practically screamed into the armrest.

There was a pause from the Engineering section. "Cap'n, that's gotta be coolant. Get everyone in the Jefferies Tubes. 'Tis the only sealed place in this ship. Put 'er on autopilot. Hurry, Jim."

The bridge froze. The turbolifts were still opening periodically on the bridge. The coolant could get up here.

"C'm on, people, move! In the hatch!" Jim was shocked out of his shock by Nyota shouting at them to "move." He watched as she bolted over to the hidden hatch in front of the helm and wrenched a piece of the floor off. "In!" she shrieked. Everyone jumped to action. He and Nyota got everyone in and crawling. He climbed in last, following the lieutenant.

The sounds of people echoed all around him. It was dark, save the small emergency lights lighting the long twisting tubes.

"Nyota, we have to find Auxiliary. I need to know what's going on." He saw the dark, intense look in her eyes and knew she understood.

Jim turned around and set off down the tube. He found an intersection with their tube and a perpendicular tube, and a diagonal one. Looking down, it sloped into darkness. "This one. We need to start heading down. Auxiliary Control is 4 levels down, and on Deck 5."

"Yes, sir. We need to make sure the med team makes it in. Knowing McCoy, they're going to try to anyone in there to Sick Bay. We don't have time."

"Well, then there's always the fast way. Jim sat on the edge of tube, stuck his legs in, and pushed off. Nyota herd his yelp as he slid down the Jefferies Tube like a waterslide. Nyota signed and followed him.

There was a clang below her. Next thing he knew, she had rammed into Jim. He had grabbed the metal rungs on the side of the tube to stop himself. He caught her just in time to keep both of them from tumbling all the way down to engineering or where ever this tube leveled out. "This seems about right." They had stopped three feet above an intersection. They slowly let themselves down the metal rungs to reach it.

The intersection branched off in 6 different ways. The one they came down past the intersection and into darkness. This diagonal tube ran straight through the middle of a cross of two horizontal tubes. One of these was straight one way, but sloped down 5 feet to a hatch on the other side of the intersection. Jim lead the way down this short slope and pried the hatch open.

They had gotten lucky. Very lucky. They could hear voices down the hall, and a foot of fog swirled under the hatch. "Captain, we can't let any of that fog in. The coolant will kill us."

"Then we need to move fast. It's going to get up to the hatch soon. It rose a foot in 5 minutes. We have no more than 7 left." Jim launched himself out the hatch and into the corridor. He landed at a run, only checking to make sure Nyota followed.

Jim was quite shocked when Nyota was able to pass him. Those suus manha classes must _really_ keep her in shape. They rounded the corner and found the med team, Ensign Chekov, and Lieutenant Sulu. They later two were trying to help. They had picked up a blue-shirted figure between them, but had no idea what to do. Nyota saw them and froze for a second. Then Jim realized. It was Spock.

"Pavel! Hikaru!" She whirled around and took off towards the hatch they had emerged from, showing them the way out.

Jim looked around. It looked like there had been two other people; both dressed in the red engineering uniform. They had obviously been in Auxiliary. Spock must've seen the fog and jumped in to rescue them on his way to the labs. God, that idiot. Then again, that's what he would've done himself. Never mind.

He saw McCoy struggling with one of the engineers. He ran over and threw the man over his shoulder, and ran for the Jefferies Tube. The fog at the base of the hatch was 2 feet high. He estimated they had three minutes. When he got there, Sulu and Chekov were ready to haul the man up and into safety. He could hear that Nyota was already inside, attempting to attend to Spock, of whom he could only see a boot of, sticking out of the horizontal tube.

On his way back, he ran into the rest of the medical team, one carrying a woman dressed in red. They flew to the Jefferies Tube and into safety, With Jim hot on their heels after spinning a quick u-turn. Jim leapt inside, and Sulu slammed the hatch.

"Nyota, how long did Scotty want the doors open?"

"5 days, sir."

"And thus our exile begins."


	2. Day 1

**Chapter 2: Day 1**

* * *

><p>Jim crawled up the slight slope and turned left into the horizontal tube where Bones and Nyota crouched over the unmoving body of his first officer and best friend. He saw the look of deep concern in both of their eyes. If Spock was his best friend, and likewise, Spock shared something deeper than that with his Chief Communications Officer. McCoy, being a doctor, was entitled to be concerned, even though he and Spock fought like an old married couple.<p>

"How is he?"

"I don't know, Jim. Lieutenant D'Amato* just woke up. He's with one of the nurses, and I think Sulu and Chekov are watching him and Ensign Herlihy*, who's still out. But D'Amato remembers one of the tubes breaking, and him and Herlihy collapsing. There wasn't anyone else in there. Spock must've run in and grabbed them on his way to the Science Labs. He would have had to go in at least twice, one for each of them, and possibly again to look for anyone else. He got about triple the dose of the other two. And then he was lying on the floor in it for 5 minutes. And he's not even all the way Vulcan! Goddamn hybrid. I don't know how he is, or how to treat the damn hobgoblin!" Bones took a deep breath and calmed himself down. "I don't have the tools to do much. Without Sickbay, I can't d…"

"Doctor, he's waking up!

McCoy climbed up to sit by Spock's head, next to Nyota. Jim sat near Spock's left elbow, cross-legged, like a kindergartener. Spock's head turned back and forth slightly for a few seconds. Then his eyes snapped open and he gasped for breath, looking somewhat like a fish. He rolled onto his side and started coughing. After a moment, Spock rolled back onto his back and looked up at the two people hovering directly over his face.

"Nyota, where are we?" Spock had eyes only for the Lieutenant, not really noticing the Doctor. He was still somewhat delirious, even calling Uhura by her first name.

Nyota reached down and put a hand on his cheek. "Spock, were in a Jefferies Tube. That coolant got all over the ship, so we had to come in here. You saved those two people. They're okay."

Spock's face, for once, didn't harden back into its usual emotionless state. He wasn't conscious enough to have that much control yet. He sat up and leaned against the curved wall. "Jim, why is there a miniature of an earth animal I believe is known as a 'zebra' standing behind you?"

Jim whirled, smacking his head on the slope of the curved wall/ceiling. "Iech! Spock, there's no mini-zebra behind me," state Jim in moderate puzzlement.

Spock, still somewhat emotional, widened his eyes in shock. "On the contrary, Captain, I believe there are two." Everyone's eyes flicked between Spock and the space behind Jim.

After a few seconds of the eye flicking, McCoy muttered, "Damn it. Hallucinations," while flicking open his med kit and jabbing a hypo into Spock neck. Spock winced, "That should do it. He might be woozy for a bit."

"Doctor, I do not believe that I am 'woozy' I do not believe that 'woozy' is proper medical terminolo…" Spock's head hit the floor.

"Woozy." McCoy nodded, and went to putting his med kit back in order.

"Well, what now?" Jim and Leonard looked at Nyota, the question not even occurring to them.

"I don't know. I'm going to check on the other crew members."

"I better come with you. I should make sure that Ensign's up."

The two men climbed over Spock and crossed the intersection.

Nyota curled up next to Spock. She figured that she deserved some rest. After all, she had worked 2½ shifts before this.

* * *

><p>Kirk flipped his communicator open. "Kirk to all personnel. As you know, we have encountered minor problems with the ventilation system, and have to eave all doors open for the next 5 days. There has been an unexplainable leakage of phaser coolant in Auxiliary Control. Mr. Spock was able to save the two crewmen inside, but the coolant is sufficiently spread throughout the ship. It is poisonous. Do not leave the Jefferies Tubes or open a hatch, the gas will spread, possibly killing us all. According to Mr. Scott, we should be able to clear exit the tubes in five days. After three days, the computer will automatically shut off the engines, and the flow of coolant will stop. It should take another two days for the coolant to break down and become harmless. Make yourselves comfortable. Do not use the communicators unless necessary, they have limited battery life. Kirk out."<p>

Kirk turned back to the intersection they had made their base camp. He glanced at his feet dangling down into the tube. "There's not a thing we can do. We have 5 days. I suggest we rest."

Jim swiveled on his butt to face the other direction. He crawled down the tube a ways, and lay down on his back with his hands under his head, and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Spock was roused from his meditation by sounds something like <em>scrik click schic clickt shhic<em>. He turned his head to see a white mouse 3.2 meters down the corridor. It looked shockingly like one of Nurse Chapel's mice. The only exception was that it was the size of a large house cat. The mouse saw Spock and scampered back down the tube. It must've been a coolant-caused hallucination. He attempted to return to his meditation, but instead fell asleep into delirious dreams of giant mice.

* * *

><p>* these people are real. Look the up on memory alpha<p>

A/N: Has it occurred to anyone else that E.T. by Katy Perry should be Spock's theme song? 'Cause every time I listen to that song, I think of Spock.

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